A Ropey Poem

on holiday in Majorca

my mother said

look what i’ve bought ya

a pair of lovely

rope soled shoes



well i was only eight

at the time

but recognised

a fashion crime



and when i saw them

i nearly died

made me look stupid

and i damn near cried!



so she tried to distract me

on a glass bottom boat

and i began to wonder

if said shoes might float?



look down there!

she exclaimed, a further distraction

and still non-plussed

with my sulky reaction



now a battle like this

you will lose every time

for she'd been on the sauce

since around about nine



and i suppose in the sun

when you’re trying to have fun

DM’s don’t really hack it

and aside from that

they cost a packet!



so getting back to the boat

and me with the blues

i needed to create a diversion

and coax up an urchin

persuade it to lurch in

and nick my shoes!